It’s not really a fair “before” picture because the cabinet doors and the fridge had already been removed, which makes it look even worse, but I think it would win an Ugliest Kitchen contest hands down. Notice the different linoleum in the laundry? Klassy. The one thing this kitchen had going for it was that it was bright despite being painted in early American dingy. You can’t really tell, but those countertops are gen-u-ine faux wood grain Formica, circa 1973.

What you can’t see are the ceiling and floor patches in the laundry room. When we moved in we replaced the furnace and water heater that lived in there with new models, both of which now live in the attic freeing up a lot of space. The furnace left huge holes in the floor and ceiling, which we just patched temporarily because we knew we’d be remodeling the kitchen. We just didn’t plan on it taking six years.

There’s always something better to do than tear your kitchen apart until suddenly you can’t look at it one more day and next thing you know you find yourself looking at this:

What started off as a quick facelift (paint the cabinets and walls, new countertop and linoleum) turned into a full remodel with new cabinets, countertops, and sink, a dishwasher that the house never had before, and a beautiful tile floor. The difference is amazing. I keep walking in just to look at it.

It took me forever to find cabinet knobs I liked but I finally did, I just have to order them. All 28 of them!

It’s the world’s smallest kitchen, but having these extra cabinets and countertop really makes it feel bigger.

I can’t even begin to tell you how happy this kitchen makeover has made me. It’s still a pretty small kitchen, but I don’t need a big kitchen. I can get some big things done in a pretty small space. But having a beautiful kitchen that I enjoy spending time in? That has made all the difference.

Best. Birthday Gift. Ever.

And someday? The statute of limitations on stories that can get you divorced will run out and I’ll tell you how we almost died because that is some funny shit.

It’s been nice knowing you. After months of my husband good-heartedly challenging me to do the P90X, I’m finally taking the plunge. It might very well kill me, but I’m tired of this lack of motivation and spinning in circles. I need forward motion. I need something to shake my tree a little. So starting Monday evening, I’ll be P90Xing my ass off. Hopefully literally.

I’m also going to try to continue increasing my running program, which on some days is going to mean twice daily workouts. The last time I tried twice daily workouts it ended with me having a total meltdown on the elliptical at 5:00 am. I totally reserve the right to have another meltdown and quit with a colossal hissy fit if it ends up being too much. I anticipate that by happening Tuesday morning.

I wasn’t going to talk about starting this at all in case it was an epic failure, but I figured that 1) letting you guys know what I’m up to would keep me honest and more motivated to stick with it so I didn’t have to tell you later I quit, and 2) I can’t whine about not being able to move my arms if I didn’t tell you I was doing this in the first place.

Photoshop is pissing me off. The photo at the left looks completely different on my blog than it does in Photoshop. In Photoshop the colors are really vibrant, the pink is bright and glowy. Here, not so much.

I’m also having trouble with printed photos turning out underexposed when they were perfect on screen. While I’m learning more about Photoshop all the time, I have no idea what could be causing this. At first I thought my print problem was a screen calibration issue, but since I’m looking at the same photo on one screen and seeing differences that can’t be it. Here is a link to the same photo in Flickr, which on my screen is much more vibrant than the one at left. Can I be having two separate issues: one of screen calibration, and one being a difference in the way the blogging software processes colors?

Weights and measures. In preparation for starting the P90X, we finally took my “before” pictures and measurements. It’s not really “before” since I’ve lost almost half of my goal weight already, but at least I’ll have a starting point for the P90X. Seeing those pictures was hard. It’s easy to get caught up in my partial success and forget that I still have a long way to go. It’s motivating, at least!

It’s Monday – have a great week everyone!

You know how you get in the “zone” and you’re motivated, things are going well, and you’re being rewarded with successes?

I’m kind of the opposite of that right now.

I’m not going to sugar coat it; I’m struggling.

I seem to have injured myself again, and it doesn’t really to matter where it is, pain that doesn’t go away after a while is demoralizing.

It doesn’t help that I know that it’s just my stupid IT band again, or that I know what I need to do to start the healing yet again, because I’m tired.

It hit me out of the blue this time, the feeling that I was sinking under the surface. January is always hard for me, but we had a fantastic weekend because we had a surprise break in the cold weather with blue skies and 60F temperatures.

It was glorious! I ran outside Saturday morning on the muddy trails and came home dirty and sweaty and feeling pretty damn good about myself. On Sunday I went for the first real ride on my super go-faster racing bike that, I’m not gonna lie, scared the shit out of me – especially when I discovered the hard way that the cleat tension on my pedals was too tight and my feet were stuck. Despite the very real chance of ending up in the river still clamped to my bike, it was an awesome ride.  I can’t wait to spend more time on the bike this summer.

They were great days, and I really needed that bit of sun and warmth in the middle of the cold and dark of winter.

So I’m not sure what happened between Sunday and Monday evening, but I got to the gym and just resented the hell out of being there. I wanted to be outside, I know that much. I wasn’t 2 minutes into my run and my leg was hurting with each step, and I just couldn’t face it. I slammed my hand on the STOP button and left the gym. I grabbed my bag from the locker room and just limped out.

I haven’t quit like that in a really long time.

I am on the plateau to end all plateaus (since October), I’m hurting, and I’m just over being on this damn train right now.

I need a change.

I’m going to take it easy the rest of this week. Ice, stretching, sauna, and maybe swimming are all I’m doing so I can try to calm down the angry leg. Once I get that under control I am going to re-evaluate my program.  I have to bust through this plateau or I’m going to lose my mind. If I were honest with myself I’d admit that I haven’t been working out as hard as I should be. You can be in the gym 6 days a week and still phone it in.

There has to be a way to get through a winter without falling into the January trap, but I haven’t found it yet. Last year it seemed to last forever, and I’m not going to let it this year. Quitting again is not an option.

One of the games my husband and I play together is the ”What would we do if we won the lottery” game.  We list the things we’d like to buy and the good we’d like to do, and how fun it would be to take our friends on a giant shopping spree…just like I imagine everyone else who plays this game does.

Sooner or later we get around to talking about the places we’d like to go.  We love to travel, but we haven’t done much of it lately.  Real life and car insurance bills get in the way sometimes, so it’s fun to imagine what you would do if you didn’t have financial restrictions holding you back.

Five Places I’d Love to See

1. The United States – While I’ve been to over two-thirds of the states in this country, I haven’t spent a lot of time in very many of them.  There are so many landmarks and world’s largest balls of string to see right here in our own backyard.  I’d love to see the New England states in the Fall.  I want to see the cherry blossoms in the Capital in the Spring.  I’ve never been to Alaska or Hawaii, and both are so beautiful that I really don’t want to miss them.  While I’m traveling around the different states I’d love to meet up with bloggers all over the country.  How fun would that be?  Sort of a blogging world tour.
2. Cancun – My husband and I took a belated honeymoon in Cancun and had such a fabulous time that we can’t wait to go back.  We stayed at an all-inclusive resort that had the most phenomenal spa I’ve ever seen.  We want to go back and really spend some quality time seeing what we missed the last time, taking advantage of more excursions, and relaxing a lot in the spa.  Last time he wasn’t able to do the scuba diving excursion with me, and I know he would love it even more than I did, so I want to do that again but this time with a nice underwater camera that the lotto winnings would afford.  And of course we have to do the thing that never gets old – swimming with dolphins.
3. Italy – I lived in Sicily for almost two years, but didn’t have the opportunity to see nearly as much of mainland Italy as I wanted.  I would like to take my husband there and show him the things I loved about Italy, and discover new things with him.  It’s worth the flight over there just to eat real Pizza Margherita made by my friend Guiseppe in the little restaurant a block from my old house that was halfway up Mt. Etna.
4. England/Ireland/Scottland – I want to visit Ireland on my birthday.  Since I was born on Ireland’s most famous holiday I’ve always wanted to experience a real Irish St. Patrick’s Day.  I am half German, but the rest of my heritage is rooted mainly in these three countries and the history there fascinates me.  I want to see castles and expansive English manors and cottages in the country, and drink beer in a pub, and drive on the wrong side of the road.
5. The Serengeti – I’m sure I have an idealized Marlon Perkins notion of what an African photo safari would be like, but I would really love to see it.  While I love to visit zoos, I would much rather see giraffe and elephants, and the rest of the native African wildlife, in their natural habitat.  From inside an armored vehicle.  With a really long lens.

I could go on and on after hitting this top five.  There is really so much in this world to see and so many people to meet.  Where would you go if money wasn’t a consideration?

2010 in Review

I have no reason to include this photo in this particular post other than his awesomeness.

2010 was a year of change for me, and some of it has been really, really good.

We got our butts moving and made the change to a more healthy lifestyle, including a gradual switch to using more organic products than not.  We’ve been really successful with this one.  I’ve managed to lose and maintain the loss of 5o pounds, and I’m currently training for a triathlon.  I now swim, bike, and run at least 5 days of every week.  More importantly, we feel a lot better.  After detoxing our bodies from so many of the chemicals and preservatives, we really notice the difference if we try to go back to some of those foods.  I am so much stronger physically, and more emotionally even and balanced, than I was at this time last year.

We’ve started to make a financial paradigm shift in our household and so far it’s been reasonably successful.  We’ve cut out things like cable and a land line telephone that we don’t need and hardly used anyway.  Making the shift to organic foods and household products is definitely more expensive for us, but we have also worked to reduce waste.  We use up leftovers as much as possible, and try to buy only the produce we think we’ll use because that’s the biggest waste offender in our house.  It spoils so fast!  The other counterpoint to the cost of organic eating is the savings we make because we are less willing to eat out since we’re now at the point where we notice that the difference in how we feel is directly linked to how we eat.

While I didn’t stick with my Project 365 because I just couldn’t do that and the new fitness program, I do think I’ve made some improvements in my photography skills.  I still have a long way to go, but it’s something I really enjoy and I don’t mind putting in the work.

I had to have my knee fixed after I tore it trying to be all Billy Blanks with the kickboxing.  It’s all better now and I’ve learned that I have to keep it moving and stretched a lot or it starts to get angry again.  Who knew I’d have a Jillian Michaels knee that screamed at me every time I blew off exercise after knee surgery?  If you did know and didn’t tell me, you’re dead to me for FIVE WHOLE MINUTES!

We had a “homemade” Christmas this year with my family, and it was a lot of fun.  It will be even better next year because we didn’t give ourselves much of a head start this year.  Overall it was a great experience and one I hope we continue.  I love the idea of putting thought and effort into something that you make with your hands to give to those you love.  More on this later, including pictures.

There have been friends who have chosen to exit my life this year, and new friends that have warmed my heart with their generosity of love.  It’s always sad when people decide to distance themselves from you, even moreso when you don’t know why, but I do feel incredibly blessed in the friends that I have.  I am not someone who makes friends easily because I find it really difficult to open up to people, so I am especially grateful to have such great girlfriends who have really been there for me in some of my darkest times this year.  The magic of the internet has introduced me to so many wonderful people that I can’t name you all, but I hope you know who you are and how much you are loved.

What’s in Store for 2011?

I don’t do resolutions, I just set goals.  To me that seems different somehow and less destined for failure.

We will continue on our healthy path.  I’d like to lose another 50 lbs, but more importantly I want to feel like an athlete.  I want to finish a triathlon.  I want it so much I don’t think I can explain it, or even why except that I like to challenge myself with things that are hard and, for me, a sprint distance triathlon is hard.  I will move onward and upward from there.  I’d also like to participate in some road races this year – definitely a few 5K races but I want to move on up to 10K pretty soon.  It will take work, but I think I can do it as long as my  crankenknee holds out.

I’m also going to continue to work on my photography skills.  I really love it, and it suits me more than other modes of artistic expression I’ve taken on in the past.  It fits into my lifestyle better.  Cakes take over my whole world – figuratively and literally – when I work on them, so while I love making them for people I love they are a huge undertaking when you are working on them from a very small home kitchen.

I’m attending BlogHer ’11!  I am stepping way outside my comfort zone but I feel pretty good about it, especially since I get to spend time with my childhood best friend.  Neither one of us is going to tell you how long ago that was.  If you’re going I hope you don’t mind if I attach myself to your leg so I’m not awkwardly trying to look all nonchalant.  Because I totally will not be.  Nonchalant, that is.

I will do more sewing this year.  I enjoyed using my sewing machine to make gifts this year and I want to use it more.  I need to be comfortable enough that the enjoyment starts to outweigh the frustration, because right now it’s too far in the opposite direction.

This space is going to get a total makeover, maybe even including an new URL (don’t worry I will notify you well in advance!) because I have completely outgrown the floatingprincess/princess buttercream persona and I’m ready for some change.  I just have no idea what that is yet, so stay tuned.

There are more changes coming our way this year, because what is life without change?  I’d much rather slap 2011 on the ass on 12/31 and say what a great ride it was than float along the status quo.

Have a happy New Year everyone!

Winter is not a good time for me.  I can feel it coming and the urge to crawl in my cave is almost overwhelming.  It seems like I withdraw from everything as soon as the weather turns cooler, just hunker down and wait for the warmth to come again.  Maybe I should just move somewhere warmer, but I have moved so many times in my life that I just don’t want to do that anymore.

This winter I have a lot to do, so I’m hoping it goes by faster.  First, I have triathlon training to get on with.  If you’ve known me for any length of time whatsoever you know that I can be a bit obsessive about things, and this triathlon path I’m on is no different.  I have to be obsessive about it this time though, because the training is kind of a big deal and I’m a little intimidated, I’m not gonna lie.  I haven’t actually registered for a race yet, but I have my eye on one in Sacramento in June.  It just depends because there is this other thing…

A couple of people at work got this harebrained idea to get a team together for the Reno-Tahoe Odyssey.  Now before a couple of you start thinking I might be the harebrained one this was not my idea.  I am smart enough to have a healthy amount of fear when you’re talking about a 178-mile long relay race with an almost 2,500 foot altitude climb and descent over an 18 to 40 hour period of time and only 12 team members to complete it.  I am not smart enough, it turns out, to say no when asked to be one of the 12 runners trekking from Reno to Tahoe to Carson and Virginia City and back to Reno.  Since each runner has to run three legs each, and each leg is a minimum of 3 miles (and a max of 8), I need to be able to run at least 6 miles at a go to feel anywhere near comfortable that I will be able to complete my end of this lunacy.  Guess who is going to be running all winter long?

So I haven’t committed to a triathlon date because the Odyssey is June 3-4, and I’m not sure how big of a space I should have between events.  Any advice?

The other thing we have going this winter is Christmas.  Every year Christmas seems like a mad consumerist scramble to fill out everyone’s list.  Except if you’re like me, you only made the list because other people made you make it so they would have an idea of what to give you, even though you would be happy with just the family getting together to be merry and all that.  This year my husband had the idea to have a Little House on the Prairie style Christmas where the gifts have to be hand-made.  Hand-made by us, more specifically.  No craft fairs allowed.  I’m really excited about this because I love making things, and I love giving things I’ve made to other people.  It seems so much more personal.  I do wish we had come up with this idea earlier, but it’s still going to be a lot of fun.

Hopefully all of these grand plans get me at least most of the way through winter without becoming a cranky despondent hermit (yes it really is that bad).  What about you?  Does winter turn your crank or make you cranky?  What do you do to get yourself through the long, cold darkness?

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Totally only Somewhat Related Aside:  My WordPress for iPhone app shit the bed so responding to comments is a little more difficult right now until I get it fixed or find an alternative.  I may only open my laptop once or twice a week lately, so please don’t think I don’t love you if I take too long to respond.  Spanks for understanding.

I wrote a post trying to be all metaphoric and still tell you everything going on in my life without actually telling you because most of the things going on in and around my life aren’t mine to tell, but then it was a worthless pile of flowery crap in which I was the sun and everyone else was a planet revolving around me (because obviously) and I pitched it.  You’re welcome.

Let’s just say that no corner of my life seems to be sacred lately, except work which is swimming along just fine thankfully.

Instead?  Snippets!

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I’m having knee surgery next Wednesday, which is the same day my first post at Buy-Her goes live.  Since I will be unconscious please to take yourselves over there and check it out.  I plan on being high all day, so I’m hoping to get links tweeted but who knows – I could be sending you to Timbuktu depending on the quality of my drugs.

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How bad is it that I’ve waited until after my knee surgery to cancel the cable?  I know I could use Hulu and all of the other online viewing options and it would be fine.  I’m pretty sure I’m using my upcoming couch time as a delaying tactic, which is dumb because I’m the one that wanted to do this in the first place.

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I have another backjack.  I swear, all I was doing was sitting on my bed and whammo, it felt like I got hit with a 2×4.  It’s not a bad one, but I didn’t need this right now.  Of course who wakes up in the morning and says, “You know what would make this day perfect?  A backjack.” but four days before something else is going to hurt also is less than ideal.   The funny part?  Jason was doing yoga on the floor in front of me and his back popped loudly and I almost threw a pillow at him for showing off.  I was so jealous of that pop!  It will take mine several days to calm down enough that I can pop it back into place, but at least I’ve reached the point in this ongoing back saga that I can usually get it to go back by myself.

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Since I was actually told to keep my activities low-impact until after the fixing and the PT, I decided to try water aerobics.  I didn’t know I was signing up for such an adventure!  First there was the joy of finding a swimming suit, which is never fun no matter what size you are.  I didn’t make a very good choice, but I didn’t really understand that at the time. The suit that fit me the best was a little low in the front, which would have been fine for regular splashing around at the beach or trying to get some sun.  However, water aerobics often requires you to shoot straight out of the water with a bit of force, which, when you’ve made an unfortunate swimming suit choice and you’re large in the top department, can induce near-miss wardrobe malfunctions.  The girls were scared that they were going to be all out in public.

Also, I didn’t realize that my feet were such delicate princesses but after two classes I’m sporting band-aids on my big toes because they’ve been exfoliated down to maybe having one layer of skin left.  They look like they’ve been chewed on by puppies.

The class itself was fun, although not nearly as strenuous as I would have liked.  I had a hard time staying away from one girl who didn’t really know where her personal space was in relation to those around her, so I spent a lot of time just avoiding her.  Still, I love being in the water and it’s a good option for now.  I just have to go shopping again for a more appropriate suit and some water shoes.  This is way more complicated than I thought.

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That’s all folks!  What’s new with you?

Tuesday I have to have a colonoscopy.

This post could end right there and I think you would still understand exactly how I feel about that. I don’t know of a single person that says “Colonoscopy! Wooo!” The colonoscopy cringe factor is pretty universal.

Before you ask, I am perfectly 100% healthy, I just have a very slight issue. An issue that, in my book, doesn’t warrant a colonoscopy because in MY book, the book of everything reasonable and sane, nothing short of a kidney falling out of your ass warrants anyone putting anything…there.

But if I were being completely honest, while the idea of the whole procedure doesn’t make me do backflips, it’s the prep I’m dreading the most.

I have to essentially fast for 24 hours.

Anyone who knows me knows I have food issues. The idea of only having clear liquids for an entire day does weird things to my head. It’s not that I think it’s going to be that terrible, it’s just, you know – I can’t even describe it.

I’ve joked with my husband that I must have starved to death in a previous life because the thought of no food freaks me out so much. I can’t stand it when the fridge starts looking too bare. He can, and does, fast for days at a time. I can’t even wrap my mind around that, which I guess is entirely the point of that kind of fast – wrapping your mind around it.

So Monday I will be wrapping my mind around it. There will be Jello and clear liquids and I don’t know how this is going to go, but we’re going to find out.

We’re not going to talk about Tuesday just yet. Just be glad they’re going to sedate me or I’d live-tweet the whole thing. I’m not even kidding.

…comfortable in my own mind.  I have very definite opinions and, while I will listen to yours, I won’t agree with you for the sake of agreeing.  You may try to convince me of something with valid arguments, and if I can see my way around to your point of view I might even change my mind, but I am not afraid of having an unpopular opinion.

…pro-choice.  Your body is not my body.  What you do with your body is your business, for whatever reason.  There is no justification necessary.  The end.

…quiet when meeting new people.  I prefer to sit back and let new people show me who they are before I expose too much of myself.  Perhaps it’s a defense mechanism that goes along with trust issues I have.

…genuine.  Rest assured that when I do interact with you, and we become friends, you are seeing the real me.  I have no need or desire for pretense or masks, and quickly tire of those who do.

…a gun owner.  After being afraid of guns for years I learned how to shoot, and I’m actually pretty good at it.  Owning a firearm is a responsibility to be taken seriously.  Every single safety precaution must be taken to eliminate accidents, but safe, responsible gun owners are not the problem.  Taking guns away from those people is not going to solve the issue of gun violence.

…a democrat.  Mostly.  Sometimes.

…opposed to weakness.  I don’t like to be held back by fear.  It’s the reason I learned to shoot, and it’s the reason I like to do things that are hard or outside my comfort zone.  I like to push my limits, and to encourage others to push theirs.

…a little ruthless.  A close co-worker told me “You go into every new situation with people with a positive attitude and giving of the benefit of the doubt.  People are innocent until proven guilty with you.  But once they really screw it up, they’re dead to you.”  It’s true.

…sometimes too independent.  People need to be needed and I don’t do that very well.  I am working on it, along with making sure people feel appreciated.

…an artist at heart.  I don’t like to make cakes because I like cake.  I couldn’t care less about cake.  I like making cakes that make you ask “Is that really cake?” I also paint and draw, though I don’t do either nearly as much as I used to.

…a dog person.  My dogs are my second and third children.  Cats are ok in someone else’s house.

…an animal lover.  Except for snakes.  I can’t…I just can’t.

So tell me…what are you?

Parsley, Sage, Rosemary & Thyme: I finally planted my herbs!  It seems like the cold weather has gone on forever, and I didn’t want to plant them only to have them freeze so I waited.  Hubs and I mixed up a lovely concoction of soil, compost, manure, and peat and I planted them.  It makes me happy to have fresh herbs growing outside my kitchen window.  I still need to get some tomato plants, but that and some flowers are going to be the extent of my gardening this year.  I’m just too busy and I’m concentrating on other things.

Alone Again, Naturally: Hubs is gone again for the week.  I have to say I’m not a fan of out-of-town jobs.  We work together, so we are together ALL the time.  Most people would hate that, but we’ve made it work.  This? Is the opposite of that.  I know there are people who do this all the time and it works for them, but I used to be a military wife and would go through this for months on end.  I’ve done my time.

9 to 5: Speaking of work, Staycation is over and I’m going back to work tomorrow.  I’m not looking forward to mucking out my in-box, but I have to say that deleting my work email account from my phone during vacation was the best plan ever.  I actually took time  off without looking at or thinking about work stuff.  I highly recommend doing that if you’re going on vacation and your personal phone is also used for work.

10: The first three months of the fitness plan are over and I crossed over the 10% mark this weekend.  If you’ve ever done Weight Watcher’s you’ll know what I’m talking about.  They give you a key chain for losing the first 10% of your starting weight, and old habits die hard.  It’s a milestone I’ve been looking forward to for the past few weeks when the scale seemed to have a mind of it’s own, so it was nice to reach it at the 12 week mark.  It seems to tie everything up neatly with a bow.   Now I just have to do it 3 more times, but I’m not looking at the big picture right now.  Smaller goals like this keep me going.

Help:  Avitable posted a story about Mindy this weekend and she needs our help.  Please go read her story.  Anything you can do will help.  I know you may see this on many blogs across the internet, but that’s one of the best things about blogging – the ability to get the word out when necessary.

Have a great week everyone!