Under Construction

For two weeks now a new striping pattern has been in effect on one of the major roadways that is on my way to work.  It’s a very slight change, a simple jog to the left instead of the straightaway that it used to be, but it has proved impossible for a lot of people to navigate. They just continue to go straight, like it had always been before, and I wonder if this is how we go through life, stuck in our ruts, unwilling or unable to see change.  It seems they would bash headlong into pain and suffering as long as their world remains the exact same as it has always been.

What does it take to keep people alert to change, to accept and embrace change?  There are no signs or flashing lights on this roadway to alert them that the traffic pattern has changed, but the ongoing construction is almost impossible to ignore.  Almost, but apparently not quite.

As a whole, sweeping generalities and all, we tend to see things and people as they’ve always been.  When you see someone quite often, much like when you travel the same path each day, the subtle changes blend in and seem difficult to observe and acknowledge.  You take for granted that they will continue to be as they always have.

But nothing ever remains the same forever.

People change.  Hopes, dreams, goals, and even the underlying character of those people closest to us change over the course of time and through the education of experience.  Contrary to popular belief, people really do change.  Failure to acknowledge, or to even observe, those changes can mean that we are left behind those we love instead of growing and changing together.

I have changed lately, in subtle ways not noticed by many, even those closest to me.  I didn’t post any signs or flashing lights.  I didn’t make huge, more obvious changes like I suddenly have blue hair or have tattooed my face.  My changes involved happiness.

I made a conscious decision to be happy.

Being happy is not always as easy as it sounds.  It meant that I had to give up certain things, certain ideals, and let go of things like ego.  It meant learning new things as well, like tolerance and patience and acceptance.  It meant understanding why some things happen the way that they do, even if I don’t like how they happen and would like to change it.  It meant accepting that sometimes I can’t change it.  It meant learning to be like a tree and bend with the wind so that I don’t break, and learning that sooner or later the wind will always shift.

I learned that sometimes someone needs an apology more than I need to be right, even if I know that I am.

I learned that letting go of old hurts doesn’t mean letting go of the lessons they taught me, and that I can keep the lessons without hanging onto the hurt.

I learned that there are certain behaviors I don’t want to be around anymore, and that it’s ok that I don’t.  It has meant putting some relationships on the back burners, and I learned that’s ok too because I’m happier with this shift in my relationship priorities.

I have learned to pay more attention to the needs of others so that I am a better friend and listener and partner.

I have also learned that I’m not perfect, and that I never will be.  I will continue to make mistakes and sometimes they will be colossal.  That doesn’t make me bad, or a failure, or wrong.  It just makes me human.

Most of all I’ve learned to stay observant to changes around me, and to take that jog to the left when I need to.