Why I Can’t Eat in Public

Hub came home late from work the other night so we decided to grab some tacos instead of making dinner at home.  It was late so there was only one other group of people in the restaurant, a mother with her two devil spawn children and their grandmother.

The brother and sister were pretty close in age, about 1 1/2 and 3, and the brother wanted the cane that his younger sister had snatched from grandma.  Every time brother took the cane away from “Sissy” (as ghetto mom called her) the child would scream at the top of her lungs, and the mother would take the cane from the boy and give it back to the little screaming monster sister.  Way to reinforce a behavior, mom!

Oh their way out of the restaurant the mother picked up the child and laid her down on the banquet seat of a nearby table.

She’s not going to…

Mom starts rummaging in her bag.  Various items are placed on the table – wipes, a diaper…

Oh no…really?  No…she’s not…really?

Sure as shit, (no pun intended) mom pulled down Sissy’s pants, yanked her feet in the air, and took her dirty diaper off at the table in the middle of the restaurant. Where people eat.  At a table.

Who does that?

And THEN!  She handed the diaper to her mother, who took it in the bathroom to throw away!

At this point I could only stare, with my mouth wide open.  Only vowel sounds were coming out.

All of these things were randomly flying thorugh my head at the same time:

• She had the wipes out – that means there was something to wipe off.  It wasn’t just a numbero uno diaper, if you get my drift.
• Bare baby ass was all over that bench seat.  Where people sit.  When they eat.
• Never touch your seat when you’re in a restaurant – you don’t know how many dirty bare baby asses have been rolling all over it.
• If she was going to throw the diaper away in the bathroom, why couldn’t she have completed the whole process in there?  Where they have facilities for that?  With baby changing shelves and everything?  And disinfectant?  It was seriously only 10 yards away from the table.
• I can never go back there.  What if devilmom lives nearby and does that often?

Is this something that people really do?  I mean normal people, not just crackwhore valley trailer trash.  Do people really think that because it’s baby poop it’s all clean and germ-free?  As if all things associated with babies should be cute and sparkly?

Please, tell me I’m not crazy.