Today started off so nicely. We had a lazy morning sleeping late and doing laundry. I talked with my friend on the phone for a while. I spent some time with my video game. All in all, it was pretty relaxing.
Then hubby and I decided we needed to run some errands. So we got in the car. Which wouldn’t start because some assmunch siphoned ALL of the gas out of it. They didn’t even leave us enough to get to the goddamn gas station this time!
That was the beginning of a downward spiral which included the spillage of gas all over the back (on the carpet!) of my Jeep, a giant hissy fit (mine) over the gas and the fact that the boy had his music cranked into the upper decibels while we were gone. (I really don’t want to hear that if it’s too loud I’m too old because I will cut a bitch today.)
I’m really just angry at myself. Ok, I’m angry at the gas thieves too because I am sick to death of them. It was bad enough when it was at work, but now it’s at home and I am PISSED. That’s twice now.
But what has me really just spinning my wheels is that this happens to me every month. (look away boys, I’m talking about girlie stuff) Every month I think I’ve escaped the rage. Or minimized it. Or something. But no.
After the gas incident I lost my mind. Not over the siphoning, but over the spillage. Lost my fucking mind. I knew, in the back of my head I knew. Yes, spilled gas is bad. I’m never going to get that smell out of the back of my Jeep, and I love my Jeep. Motherfuck. But it’s not bad enough to lose my shit and start screaming and throwing things. It’s that PMS-induced rage that gets me every time.
It was brief this time, like only 15 minutes. I congratulated myself over learning some self-control. I patted myself on the back all the way to the grocery store and back thinking that it took me almost 30 years, but I’m finally getting the rollercoaster under control.
And yet no. Before dinner I almost lost it all over again. The boy was playing my game and it pissed me off. Hubby was chewing and it pissed me off. The dog rang the fucking bells and it pissed me off. Somebody somewhere breathed and it pissed me off.
Seriously? Is there really no end to this? I am 40 years old, you would think that at some point this would stop. And yet I am surprised by it every month. I can be going along just fine, thinking that this time, just this one time, I escaped it, and then not 15 minutes later it hits me like a freight train. It’s literally that fast. The rage express. And woe to he who is in the way.
It’s so totally bizarre to be almost standing outside yourself, watching this horrible behavior, and being completely unable to stop it. I know I’m being irrational. I know that at any other time this stuff would not make my hair stand on end. It’s like my brain is split in two, one half completely insane and the other half watching and going “huh. Really? You’re really going to scream at the dog for ringing the bells you taught her to ring? You are batshit fucking crazy!”
And then it’s gone.
Please. Tell me I’m not alone.
You are not alone. You are not alone. You are not alone. You are not alone. You are not alone. You are not alone.
You are not alone. You are not alone. You are not alone. You are not alone. You are not alone. You are not alone. You are not alone. You are not alone. You are not alone. You are not alone. You are not alone. You are not alone.
Whew! That was 18 times, right? So do you believe me? It is a strange feeling to be two people at once. It is entirely possible. And frighteningly real. I know, I talk too much, but believe me when I say the above, really long, comment.
Reply
February 22nd, 2009 at 9:53 pm
You’re not alone. Actually, for me I think it’s getting worse. I feel the same way too, when the anger hits, I can stand to the side inside and ask “What the hell is my problem? Yeah, it’s bad – but it’s not THIS bad? WHAT’s wrong with me?!?!?”
Every month I swear it won’t happen. Couldn’t. Maybe I just imagined it. And there is goes again, from out of nowhere. Probably the most frustrating part is that men think PMS is all made up, an excuse to behave like a two year old. They have no idea how it turns us into Sybil with full awareness and makes us feel like we have some sort of disease.
But the whole gas siphoning thing? I’d be ready to beat their heads’ in. Do you know who it is?
Kyra´s last blog post..Electronics Anonymous
Reply
Buttercream Reply:
February 25th, 2009 at 8:51 pm
@Kyra,
Oh it drives me insane when guys blow off PMS as something made up! I wish there was a way to convey the frustration involved, not just with whatever bug is currently up our ass, but with the inability to deal with it rationally.
I don’t know who it is. I kind of want to catch them in the act, but I don’t know what I’d do if it turns out to be one of my neighbors. That would seriously freak me out.
Reply
Kyra Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 4:34 am
@Buttercream, I’d be looking at either a locking gas cap (http://www.stant.com/brochure.cfm?brochure=202&location_id=170), or borrowing one of those motion cameras that hunters use. And then I’d hunt the jerks down. Cause I’m like that,
Wait for a good PMS episode, and get’em!
Kyra´s last blog post..Clear and Present Happiness
Reply
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:23 am
Miss,
Let me say that getting your gas stolen is no good. I can see how it would start your rage-o-matic. That being said, we like you being here, and redlining your rage like that can’t be good for your inside bits.
crispy king´s last blog post..Keesh
Reply
Buttercream Reply:
February 25th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
@crispy king,
Doooood! You got yourself stuck in my spam-o-matic again with the call center speak! My inside bits almost became my outside bits with the spewing of the diet coke on the monitor. I’m pretty sure the macbook would no likey.
Reply
crispy king Reply:
February 25th, 2009 at 9:06 pm
@Buttercream,
Thank you for your funny reply. Unfortunately my manager does not allow me to send hundred dollar bills through the mail to claim my Nigerian inheritance. Your restraint in nonspewage has been duly noted in your account and will be reported to your trusty computer support dude. Thank you for doing friendbusiness with us.
crispy king´s last blog post..Sit down and enjoy
Reply
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:01 pm
A few days ago, a friend of mine had some friends coming in from out of town (these are friends of mine too) He had told me about some plans for the evening, so I planned my night around it, then he changed it at the last minute because someone else suggested something he liked better and I FLIPPED THE FUCK OUT. So, no, you aren’t alone.
Lauren´s last blog post..Yeah, that’s not gonna work
Reply
February 25th, 2009 at 2:13 am